The contentious wife is in the Bible verses below
Proverbs 25: 24 It is better to dwell in the corner of the housetop, than with a brawling woman and in a wide house
Proverbs 21: 9 It is better to dwell in a corner of the housetop, than with a brawling woman in a wide house.
Proverbs 21:19 It is better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and an angry woman.
Proverbs 19: 13 A foolish son is the calamity of his father: and the contentions of a wife are a continual dropping.
Proverbs 27: 15 A continual dropping in a very rainy day and a contentious woman are alike. 16 Whosoever hideth her hideth the wind, and the ointment of his right hand, which bewrayeth itself.
Who is a contentious wife?
According to KJV dictionary contention is: given to angry debate; quarrelsome; perverse. Loving quarrel; fond of strife.
Webster’s 1828 dictionary defines contention as a violent effort to obtain something or resist a person, claim or injury, quarrelsome, strife in word.
Therefore, a contentious wife is given to angry debate, she loves to quarrel. Constantly strife with her husband. She will violently, by word or by deed, try to obtain something from her husband and will constantly oppose her husband.
A contentious wife will start a quarrel over insignificant issues. She will probably dwell on the weaknesses of her husband because she can easily start a quarrel from the weaknesses. She will rarely appreciate what the husband does. Even a joke can irritate or provoke her to start an argument.
She is like a dropping in a very rainy day, you cannot escape being soaked. She will perpetually annoy her husband with quarrel, strife and opposition.
Am sure, you don’t want to be the wife described above, avoid contention.
What happens when you are a contentious wife?
From the bible verses quoted above we clearly see that when you are a contentious wife you will draw your husband away from you. He will prefer to leave in the wilderness/corner of a house (be with his friend, work many hours, be with another woman, watch sports). Do other things, just to be away from you. An environment of constant quarrel and strife is devoid of peace and anyone would like to get away from it.
Avoid contention and keep your husband close to you.
Instead of being a contentious wife you should be a meek and quiet wife.
How to stop being a contentious wife
1. Recognize that God wants you to have a meek and quiet Spirit and ask Him to give it to you.
1 Peter 3:1 Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives;2 While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear.3 Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; 4 But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.
Meek is defined as mild of temper, soft gentle, not easily provoked or irritated; yielding; given to forbearance under injuries.
A meek and quiet wife will not be easily provoked nor irritated because of her mild temper and that will keep her from contention. She will provide a peaceful and safe environment for your husband.
Instead of going to the wilderness, the husband, will want to be with her. When stressed at work and in other places he will want to come to his wife for quietness. He will feel safe to discuss things with her without the fear of the discussion turning into an argument.
Am sure you want to be the wife described above.
In the sight of God all the ornaments you may wear are worthless when compared to a meek and quiet Spirit.
God has promised us that when we ask anything according to his will we will receive. Therefore, ask God to give you a meek and quiet Spirit. Believe you have received; confess you are meek and quiet and start acting meek and quiet.
2. Act meek and quiet
Every time you are tempted to be contentious, act meek and quiet by doing one or all of the things below
a) Keep quiet
Ask the Holy Spirit who is our reminded to remind you to keep quiet when you are tempted to start a quarrel. It might not be easy at first but as you continually obey the leading of the Holy Spirit it will be easier.
b) Excuse yourself and go do something else.
Instead of starting a quarrel excuse yourself and do something else. You can run to the bathroom or go get a cup of tea. Getting away will help you calm down and think of a better way to respond instead of quarreling.
c) Decide to say something nice
Say something nice instead of something awful when you are irritated. The more you do this the more your brain will learn to speak positive things instead of negative things.
3. Appreciate your husband
To appreciate a person, you first notice the good they are or the good they do or both. Therefore, when you deliberately decide that you will appreciate your husband, you will deliberately look at the good he is and the good he does. Think of the godly person he is, faithful, loving, hardworking, committed to the marriage… When you dwell on appreciating you minimize chances of starting an argument with him because you begin to appreciate and admire the good, he is and the good he does.
Contention will draw your husband away from you, meekness and quietness will draw him close to you, choose wisely.
Have you been a contentious wife? Share with us your experience by leaving a comment.
If you need prayer let us know, we will pray for you.
God bless you; God bless your marriage.
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